Living the dream

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSKndXpLM3Y

We all make our deposits on to poker sites with one shared vision in common. To one day be living the dream of being a high stakes baller.

Ok so I don't consider myself a baller but I did get to taste the lifestyle of it and through the experience I came out a changed man. My personality hasn't altered too much, but I feel I am a more confident, mature and comfortable person.

I am back in England and having a look over pics/vids of my entire year and it's travels. I am realizing how much more to life there is, and how being a professional poker player allows me to do things I wouldn't have even dreamed about doing. I have been around some of the greatest minds in Poker, surfed in some of the sickest waves in the world (well attempted to), got massages by the best (thanks for paying Serk), chilled on amazing beaches, saw a monkey in the wild (FINALLY), followed the greatest weather, saw some of the most amazing sites the world has to offer, stayed in apartments that just two years ago I wouldn't dream I would ever see the inside of, got table service in exclusive clubs, ran up insane bills at pool parties in Vegas, done graffiti on Venice beach, met the nicest people, avoided the fakes, dodged the gold diggers and managed to form some strong relationships based on trust. This is just few of the many memories I took from the year and already I feel it paints the picture clear for the positive movement my peers and myself created.

A lot of this life style can be related back to the beginning of my poker experience. Coming into the game thinking I knew it all and soon realized I am just a fish in this big world. Not a big fish obviously as I find it's easily justified when your making money of fish to spend a little back into enjoying the game. I believe everyone has to be a fish to become a shark, learning and evolving is what will make that transition. At the end of the day a shark is just a big, intelligent fish!

So what have I taken a way from this trip?

I have learned how much we can take everything we learned in the complex game of poker into the more complicated game of life. Money in the bank isn't the way to judge achievements, we can't base how clever someone is by how much money they have or how balling they can be. In many situations it can give us a good indication of a person, but the same as in poker, every decision in life matters. Even the decisions so small we don't think will ever effect the long run. As in poker we can determine a persons skill level in life by asking some questions:

• Do they wake up with an optimistic approach to a day/situation? 
• Do they attempt it once, fail and give up? or do they pick them self up learn and try again, again and yep, again? 
• Do they make incorrect decisions/statements/answers and admit they are incorrect, and then adapt quickly to a more optimal way?
• Will they accept that something they have been doing for a long period of time might be incorrect and accept that changing them self might be the only way they can achieve happiness?
• Do they accept that someone in a higher position is always correct? or do they question it, challenge it and come up with their own answers?
• Do they have a competitive side to them? How much of that side is ego? how much of it is will to succeed?
• Do they put their heart into things? or just act like they do but really don't know what putting their heart into something means? 
• Do they complain about things that they couldn't do anything to prevent from happening?
• Do they complain about things in general?
• Do they dwell on the past but forget that their future is the only thing they have control over?
• Does a hurdle stop them chasing what they want?
• Do they let an opportunity go by over and over?
• Do they appreciate the good times because they learned from the bad times?
• Do they hate on someone else that has what they want? Or do they choose to support and learn from that person recognizing being against them isn't going to get them far?

I went a bit deep on some of those questions but I feel like they are good questions I have asked my self many times in developing as a poker player. Now the more mature I am becoming, the more and more I am asking myself these questions in order to better myself as human even if sometimes I see my self answering these questions and don't like the answers I have for them.

'Am I gonna get a tan?'

Jason Bourne eat your heart out

Aim, fire, miss, ouch my eye

How to pimp a buggy

   

Upswing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWWP4xtxXXE&ob=av2e
I won't go into too much details about upswings, because it's really the same stuff as I went through in the previous post about the downswing just a bunch of variance boring stuff. My bankroll is booming and flying again, it feels good, I feel like every session is being played in the zone, I have had some good sessions in $1ks and ran really good in some 25/50  $1k cap games, running around $9k above ev. I have had some good opponents play me in the last month and had some good action with fish too, it has been a roller costar few months but I am really happy with the place I am now and where my roll is at right now.

So I worked on my game a lot when I was in Cali last at the beginning of Oct. I think that time away from poker was a good decision when I was faced with a long downswing. I would advise anyone to take time out when they think their game needs some reflecting on. It is also important to remember to be putting in high volume sessions which some times you forget to do when not running so good.
So I will show you my all in ev from the time I came back from California - now.

We also have had Jyg4me staying with us, and even though I keep loosing the flip for the bed it's been good having him back on board over my grind trip. Talking of flipping I have run 60 buyins under ev to Serkules flipping $200 dices whilst waiting for drinks and food. FML I want to prove Serk is human to people and will prove it before I die, but maybe flipping lower stakes :). Also we hit up the Snoop Dogg party the other day, was pretty sick night.

I am going to be going back to America to chill with a good friend of mine for a couple days away from poker and to wind down of this trip before going back to London where I will spend Christmas. It's been a fun trip, I will definitely continue to travel in one way or another. I will see how my options unfold.

On a last note I wanna give a shout out to any one who knew my boy Ian. I hope all you guys are thinking about the good times. We had so many :D.

Artist: Ryan McDonald

Neeeeeeebooooooooooo

RIO

First of all I have to ask anyone reading this blog to listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0D1LDNZmBY
When I heard this song a few weeks ago I fully could see the lifestyles of people going for success in different ways and it's not how, when or where you gain success, it's the memories you carry with you up the ladder that really matter.

So I decided to write this blog entry today as I feel today is just one of those days where you really get to relax and enjoy what is going on around you. It is Sunday after all, and chilling in the hot tub with my thoughts was the most most 'ev +' way to spend the day. I have been making some decisions about stuff in my life and really just figuring out what direction I want to move in over the next year. I would love to play more live Mtts but I would also like to go for super nova elite on stars and also the situation with Full Tilt and stuff will really influence what happens in the next year of grinding. I also have good ideas about where I will be and what places I need to explore next or what opportunities come up over the next year, it was a nice relaxing way to look at my position in life and how many doors I can choose to walk through from here. Its so nice to be given the gift of time because I can really make decisions and judge well on how positive the out come of each decision might be.

I feel its time for another tune:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSszWXkDHa8

Ok so we're here in Rio, the place we're staying is amazing right on the beach front of Copacabana, with nothing but nice people around me. I couldn't really ask for a better situation to happen right now. I feel really relaxed here and feel I have bonded and made some cool friends. I really appreciate all the effort all of you guys are doing for 'gringos' hahaha. I am still looking forward to surfing here with Leo2222, he is a sick surfer and feel like I can learn a lot from him when we get to surf together. Its also so amazing to come across all the people I have known in the lobbies for some time and putting personalities behind the names, I am really happy to have met all you guys and hope we continue having a sick month together.

Probably the best moment of the trip so far was when my Swedish friend Erik Olofsson took down the 100 rebuy and add on on the second day of my arrival for around $52k, well done again brother, really good game.
The other great thing about this place is being reunited with my good friends, Niceiq25, Wowkka and Serkules and am loving getting to know the newest to the pack MrTalent aka Daniel, love having you on board brother.

 Sunday Mtt session

 Niceiq25

 This is the reaction to being $52k richer

 Lunch break

 'We do it how the pros do'

 Always order too much

 Serkules

 Wowkka

On the grind

MrTalent

 The Brazil crew

Ready to party?

  

'The fantastic four'

One last note to my family n friends in London, missing you all. This Christmas is going to be Epic.

Power Rankings

I was happy to come across an article on Husng.com rating the best super/hyper turbo players and I was even happier to see my name in joint 5th place. Thank you to the judges and Husng.com for doing the rankings.

L.A and Huntington Beach

Just came here for a few days to chill out and work on my game away from the grind. Done a lot of work and really happy with how the trip went in general.

The main thing I wanted to do in LA was to paint the legal graffiti wall on Venice beach because last time I was in town I really tried to do it but can only do it on weekends, so I flew out on Saturday with no warning to anyone just to make sure I got the wall on Sunday. It came out pretty good and even though I only got to do one of the smaller walls I was happy with how the wall came out in the end.

Explaining and understanding a monster downswing

So if anyone has been following my results since I have been living in Costa Rica they will have noticed a pretty unusual sight in my sharkscope graph, I like to call it the 'monster downswing'. I guess to a lot of regs this swing isn't so bad and for me mentally I feel it's ok to handle too, but just the uniqueness of this swing due to moving up and down stakes is really quite interesting and felt like explaining why a swing like this can and will happen when playing high stakes super turbos over hundreds of thousands of hands.

First of all I would like to share my all in ev since recorded from mid March, the graph is missing around 10k hands from the first week when I made the switch to Pokerstars.

For people who do not understand these graphs basically the orange line is your all in expected value (ev) which basically gives you a good idea of how well you are playing only using maths and no other factors. The blue line shows you what is actually happening with the luck element which is involved in poker. In the short term you can see major differences in these two lines but in the long run you will see a trend that these two lines will overlap each other on many occasions and the difference over the very long run will be almost impossible to see, which also can explain there isn't luck involved in long term poker.

This downswing doesn't look to crazy when looking at this graph, in fact it looks pretty similar to the others I have had in the past. So why does this one seem to drag on for so long and how comes in actual results I am down $30,000 when my blue line says I haven't lost anything, we need to look into this small time period in a bit more depth to see what is going on.

Here we can see the same graph but only the time whilst I have been in Costa Rica. The orange line here indicates I should be up around 40+ buyins (1*) and the blue line indicates I should be up around 1buy in and I actually am up one buy in since I been here. So if I am up one buy in, why am I down $30,000?
These two graphs will help explain:

The first graph shows the actual amount of money through the time period and the second graph shows the 'ROI' (Return on investment) at each different stake as you can see I have run way worse in high stake games to lower stake games. Now this really helps explain where things have gone wrong. The fact that I am playing multiple stakes is really the key to this swing. Running bad in high stakes and running good in low stakes can really make a downswing last a lot longer and a lot more drastic than it would have if I was only playing one stake. If I had been playing one stake the entire way through the downswing I would actually be in profit through this period.
I obviously cannot complain about this because I have had many experiences of running better at high stakes than low stakes, and it's something that will Iron out over a longer time period these things just kind of have to happen. I also can never complain because as some of you know I had some killer months before coming here where I really crushed the Hyper turbo's on stars well the opposite thing was happening there, I was running above ev but I was also running better in the higher stake games and worse in the lower stake games so I have to have a neutral feeling towards the downswing as I do the upswing just to keep my head cool and concentrated to the fullest.

(1*)Calculating how many buy ins I should be up is pretty hard because the program I use 'Poker Copilot' calculates the hands in 'bb' (big blinds not big bets) and not in actual buy ins but I give 25bbs for one buy in seen as 25bbs = 1 buy in when you buy into the Hyper turbo Sng. I am not sure if this is mathematically correct due to the constant change in blinds in each Sng but for arguments sake I will keep it like this to keep it simple.

Ok so that's the maths behind the swing, what about the psychology.

Using all of these graphs we can actually see some interesting stuff that can help explain how my mind set may have been effected at the early points of the swing although the entire way through I have been pretty chilled out and am happy with how I have been playing there is some points you can probably see a change in my game with result orientated adaptions my brain made unconsciously through confidence and trying to reduce the variance. (2*) Obviously we cannot use graphs like these to predict how someone is thinking but I am going to break down the swing and explain some of what has been going through my brain through out the downswing.

(2*)A note to people: normally the things our brain tell us to do in poker to reduce variance will increase it more ie, reducing our 3betting range and waiting out a better spot when we have a clear ev+ spot in front of us trust in your decision making if it's been correct in the past.

Well I hope this can explain a better view to anyone who is questioning my downswing and also to the people who might be worried, will help them to understand the maths and the psychology behind swings like this. In the end this is a business with high variance at points, all we can do is grind and play our best at all times, we can only change the out come of the future, try not to hold on to the past. I also hope this helps others who happen to have a downswing like this in the future. Don't give up, don't make irrational decisions, don't be result orientated and understand these things happen and most importantly don't let poker control your happiness levels, let other things in life and the things that poker has given you decide on how happy you are.